Right I am normally incredibly understanding about my transition and my family but goodness I am starting to loose my rag.
My hair is in an awkward stage at the moment and I have been tying the top of it back to keep it out of my face as I write, I do not have a problem with this – it does not make me a ‘girl’ because I have a pony tail – well so you would like to think.
So I go downstairs to get a drink to be greeted by my Nan and this is how the conversation goes:
Nan: Oh *insert brithname* finally you’re growing your ponytail back I’m so happy!
Me: No nan same as always its too long and it is in my face I’ve just tied it back.
Nan: *beckons me over* Ah *insert birthname nickname* you are finally looking like you again instead of well yeah, it’s so great that you have seen sense I can’t wait to finally have my little girl back.
Me: Nan I’m sorry but that is just not going to happen, please just stop.
Nan: Oh did I say something wrong? I just wanted you to know how happy I am that you are going to be who you are again, the eye make up, the hair, my little *insert brithname nickname* is coming home.
Oh my goodness really, really. I’m sorry but please just stop.
I already feel like I lead this massive double life, and I hated that you all ignore my transition, but god stop it.
This leads me on to the topic of binaries and stereotypes revolving make up and hair. Why is it as soon as I put make up on I become female in the eyes of society, why? It is as though no man has ever casually worn make up day to day ever, wrong, terribly wrong. I could name a few just sitting here: David Bowie, Boy George, George Michael, Lou Reed, Billie Joe Armstrong, Jared Leto, Andrej Pejic, Alice Cooper shall I go on or have I made my point clear?
Many people make an assumption about my identity as I use the word trans to describe myself, they automatically assume because I was assumed female at birth, that I am automatically male. Again that is wrong, but not a single person asks or waits to be told as such, they just continue to make wild assumptions about me given how I present publicly, how I dress, how I talk, what I like, write, listen to, sing, play. Oh goodness world please just stop.
Just take a moment to climb out of your stereotyping societal tick boxes and just look at the world and all the creatures that live here please. Life is not black and white, nor is identity, you can not just assumes ones gender identity by the fact that they wear eye shadow, or play football, or enjoy baking.
I am not quite sure where I am going with this really incoherent, non intellectual, selfish sounding post, I just needed to spew. I am just so sick of being treated like a creature of curiosity and forced into this ridiculous boxes just to make everyone feel better about how ‘unnatural’ I am for them. Please just ask me, talk to me, be willing to learn.
Brain Functions of the Terribly Confused. 